Back!

Hello -blows imaginary dust off the pages

It's been a whole 11 months since I last blogged properly (Minus the secret private blog that I was keeping for awhile over Summer of 2010-2011). I can't believe I'm back here on this page, this page where I used to call my virtual home. This page holds memories of my life story, dating back to 7 years ago when I was 15. Alot have happened over the last 7 years. It almost feels like a pity to leave this hanging; like I have abandoned my journey, like I've stopped taking note and slackened in leaving broken twigs that may lead me back to where it all began. Back to the basics, back to where I cling dear to childlike faith. Back to where I still search out and am eager to believe the best in people.

So it begins once more.

The trial of broken twigs shall begin once again

If to distance lands I scatter,

If I sail to farthest seas.

Would you find and firm and gather

Til' I only dwell in Thee.

If I flee from greenest pastures,

Would you leave to look for me?

Forfeit glory to come after

Til' I only dwell in Thee.

If my heart has one ambition

If my soul one goal to see

Tis my solitary vision

Til' I only dwell with Thee

That I only dwell in Thee.

This needs to stop somehow...

Been having weird/semi-scary dreams over the past 2 weeks now. Maybe it is the exam stress, but the dreams have nothing to do with exams. Two nights ago I dreamt that someone dear to me had leukaemia, and someone else (also dear to me) had an wound infection that was festering and was screaming in pain. Last night I dreamt that I was at Sentosa with friends, we were running down a flight of stairs to catch the tram, when suddenly a dead body fell right in front of me. I didn't recognize the face, he was a stranger to me. Rigor mortis had set in, so he looked like a stiff zombie. Man of short statue, squarish face, squarish head, about 40-50 years old.

I'm sharing this here not to frighten you who is reading the entry. I'm just not enjoying my slumber very much. I know that the blood of Christ has given me authority in JC's name to rebuke whatever that is disturbing me. It's just regardless, my physical body still reacts physiologically. I lie in bed, almost afraid to fall asleep sometimes. It could be due to exam stress... But it could be something else that I tend to be sensitive to?

If my heart has grown cold, there Your love will unfold.

I'm beginning to realize how one can love his career more than God. Of course, you don't say it outright - 'I love my career. I love it more than God.' But examine the condition of your heart. Examine the bitterness and unforgiveness that you brush away. To me, ignoring something is my best way of escaping and denying reality. But really, there must be a better way of dealing with these everyday struggles.

"If you are right with God, you will inevitably be right with all your fellow-creatures." - C.S. Lewis

The days are going by so slowly it feels like running through mercury when everything is in slow motion.

First exam yesterday was a good start to the exam season. One down, 3 more written papers and 1 practical to go. Boo ya!

Here's the timetable so you are in the know of what sort of life (or the lack of it.) I lead for the next few weeks or so:

22nd Oct, Friday (PM): Written clinical paper

26th Oct, Tues (AM): Biochemistry, nutrition, oral biology and microbiology... GG.

26th Oct Evening: BROOKE FRASER'S CONCERT YESSSSSS!!! 

29th Oct, Fri (AM): Public Health and epidemiology

2nd Nov, Tues (AM): Oral biology, microbiology and biochemistry lab

4th Nov, Thurs (PM): Pharmacology

4th Nov, Thurs evening: Adelyn has a life outside the books again. YAYYYY!!!

Anyways, I came here mainly to say that I had such a weirddddd/scary dream this morning. It's been awhile since I woke up in tears, but to cut the long story short, I dreamt that a friend of mine had cancer and came to NZ just to say bye to me (and kind of left me some important documents - medical reports, will, last words etc). Sian, so heartbreaking. In my dream I couldn't finish reading the documents before putting my head down, sobbing, when I woke up abruptly, catching myself in a half-sob breathing pattern and tears in my eyes. I really hope that this dream does not mean anything at all... For sure, that's something that I want to ask God when I see Him - What do dreams mean? How do we dream? Why do we dream?

That's a question for later. (OMGEEEEE. Now my 'q' key isn't working properly. Had difficulties typing 'q' in 'question'.) ACERRRRR. I don't recommend ACER laptops btw! Toodles :)

Thank God for Skype!! :) Finally got to hear Chrispy's voice and had a good chat with her. Always love catching up with her! She asked a few tough questions (as usual, but that's what I love about her). Still feels like the old times and even though it was 5am in NZ and 10am in Chicago, I enjoyed every minute of it. So looking forward to meeting up with her again in Dec!  I'm so excited about what might happen for her in 2012/2013!